Recently, I’ve noticed something about myself – I am a worrier, anxious individual who pressures myself (and other people too!) to do more and be more in a short period of time. I wasn’t like this while I was still in school and dependent on my parents but now that I live for myself and the family I have chosen to have, I noticed that being around myself is quite stressful.
Do you ever have those days wherein all you’d want is for your mind to be quiet?
Do you ever have those impulses to just run and disappear for a bit but your neurotic brain is stopping you from doing so?
Right now, all I really want is a break from worrying, from stressing myself out. If you want that too, then come and take a break with me. We both need it! We know that we need it and it’s time that we take it!
Currently, I work two jobs and I have no problem considering getting another part time job. If I apply for the part time job that I have been eyeing, I would be working from 8 in the morning until 10 in the evening. That’s 5 days a week. I thought about it and I seemed really okay with it, but my husband shut me down. He said that three jobs was too much. And that was when I realized that I had become such an obsessive worrier about my (or should I say our) finances that I was willing to overwork myself. Fellow, workaholics, let’s take a deep breath and stop for minute.
How did I get myself to relax and loosen up? Well, it was really an effort on my part. One of the things I was taught in Nursing was to always know the rationale (or the reason behind) for the procedure you are doing. This was to avoid getting sued (and losing that hard earned license!!!) and to make sure that you do know why you are doing something. So, I stopped and asked myself:
WHAT ARE YOU WORRYING ABOUT?
Here are the answers I came up with:
- I WAS WORRIED THAT I WON’T HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO PROVIDE FOR EVERYONE IN MY FAMILY. Growing up in a Filipino home with strong Filipino values, we were taught to help out our extended family and to never abandon our parents. I was aware that I got married a little young (at 23) and I felt as if somehow, I won’t be able to focus on helping my parents with their expenses. I try to help out as much as I could. For example, I pay for their groceries sometimes and the monthly internet.
- I WAS AFRAID OF LIVING ON THE STREETS. Everyone wants to have a house to come home to after a long day of work, and I was worried that my family was going to be homeless. Now that I think about it, it’s totally illogical because we have three homes.
- MOSTLY IT’S BECAUSE I’M WORRIED I WON’T BE ABLE TO PROVIDE FOR THE NEEDS OF MANY. And I don’t even have children yet.
So I mentally slapped myself and forced myself to relax and be less uptight. It got to the point where all I’d do every afternoon is find more work to do so I could earn more. Talk about being greedy! I didn’t even need to buy anything expensive or anything at all because I had all the things I really needed. I realized that I was stressing myself out too much when I had little to stress about at the moment.
So here are some ways on how I managed to cope (maybe it can work for you too!):
- Now that I knew why I was obsessively worrying, it was time to change the way my brain thinks before I give myself an anxiety attack. If you want to change something about yourself, you should always start with how you look at things. Your perspective. So instead of focusing on my dream salary per month, I decided to focus on my current salary per month.Is it able to pay the bills? YES.
Am I able to help my parents with my current salary? YES.
Do I have extra money for emergency situations? YES.
Do I have money to spend on myself? YES.
If you answered a resounding YES to that as well, then you are doing fine. Take a break. Book that vacation.
- Understand and accept the fact that you can’t control everything. A wise teacher once told me that hot tempered individuals are usually controlling. How come they are so ticked off? Because something didn’t go the way they wanted it to be – consciously or not. I know that I am a little bit controlling. I wanted to be in control of how much I earned and it greatly frustrates me if I don’t get the gig or the freelance work that I applied for.I have planners every year that I stick to and if I can’t, I get a little frustrated on the inside. It’s weird since I was such a carefree spirit back when I was just a student. Now it’s like I have a stick up my butt every day.
I think it’s because I now have no one to depend on. I have to depend on myself now – and my husband LOL. Being financially independent really forces you to grow up.
- Each of us has a vision of where we want our lives to be by the age of something, but sometimes, we are at that age already and we are not the person we are visualizing to be. IS THIS QUARTER LIFE CRISIS? Together let us let go of unrealistic standards that we have placed upon ourselves. The world is not perfect. Life is not perfect. We won’t always get what we want and we have to be okay with that.Okay, so you didn’t get that promotion but that doesn’t mean that you never will.
Okay, so you don’t have any idea yet on how you want your life to turn out as but that doesn’t mean that you will never figure it out. You will find your place in the world.
- Give yourself a break and a chance to catch your breath. That’s what I did today. I took a day off and relaxed at home, reconnected with friends, family, and with my hobbies. I always enjoyed painting, reading books, and watching movies so taking time for the things I loved doing really did me well. It feels so good to feel like myself again.I also went to get a mani-pedi that was clearly long overdue.
It isn’t bad to pamper yourself once in a while. The more you take good care of yourself, the more you can take good care of other people. ❤
You can’t take care of them when you are stressed, tired, and sick right?
What do you do to relax during your free times? Got any other tips for worrywarts like myself? You can drop a comment below! Let’s help each other relax. LOL. Have a great day! Don’t forget to be nice to yourself.
Stay inspired! ❤