Why Men Love & Marry Bitches

Have you read these books by any chance? I was first introduced to Why Men Love Bitches by a friend when back when I was being cheated on by my ex-boyfriend multiple times. She said that it was her girl bible and that every woman had to read it even just once in her life. Of course, I was skeptical about it but somehow, it managed to help (okay, maybe not since he cheated on me again) but somehow reading it at that time when I was feeling a little down in the dumps made me remember that I wasn’t a doormat but a catch. It’s something every woman has to remember. I bought the second book out of curiosity a few years later.

Here are some quotes from the first book  “WHY MEN LOVE BITCHES” that really stuck to me:

 

  1. “The bitch is an empowered woman who derives tremendous strength from the ability to be an independent thinker, particularly in a world that still teaches women how to be self-abnegating. This woman doesn’t live someone else’s standards, only her own.”Don’t get it wrong, the book is not saying that you should be inconsiderate and rude, but that you should set standards on how you want to be treated by a man. If he treats you poorly while he isn’t dating you yet, think about how he will treat you when you already are dating him. That’s also the same for when he treats you poorly while you are still dating him, don’t think for a second that he will treat you better when you are already married. If he can’t treat you good right now, then he probably won’t treat you better in the future – unless you change something.
  2. “It is your attitude about yourself that a man will adopt.”I’ve learned this the hard way (and still learning now). How you see yourself or how you treat yourself is how a man will also treat you. That’s why you constantly have to remember that you are worth dating exclusively or worth being committed to because if you forget, who’s going to remind him?
  3. “The bitch does not stop moving to her own rhythm. This, in and of itself, prevents her from becoming off-balance like a nice girl who abandons her routine.” The book advises women to stick to their routines and hobbies they had back when they were still single. Sure, there will be some changes if you are in a relationship but that doesn’t mean that you will give up your hobbies and interests. For example, if you have yoga classes every Thursday and you gave it up for your boyfriend, soon you will have nothing else to do on a Thursday if he’s unavailable. Point is to not center your time and energy waiting on when a man will be available. If he can’t set a date and time with you, then it means you have nothing going on with him. For example, if he says that maybe he can meet you tonight but he isn’t sure because of some unforeseen circumstance, just tell him that you’ll see him next time. Don’t cancel on your personal activities on a man that isn’t sure with his.

    “If you allow your rhythm to be interrupted, you’ll create a void. Then to replace what you give up, you’ll start to expect and need more from your partner.” – In support to what I said above.

  4. “If a relationship is on-and-off within the first year, that’s an immediate sign you are wasting your time.” I personally believe this, but I also respect those relationships that carry on despite the on and off periods. You go you! Stay strong! But personally though, I take this as a bad sign. It means something was gravely wrong, enough to “off” the relationship for a while. My first relationship was filled with on and off periods (although not in the first year) because of the fights, lies, and inconsistencies while my second relationship with my now husband never had an off period – if I remember it correctly!
  5. “Keeping it short and to the point is essential, otherwise he won’t hear a single word.”A little tip when you are trying to get your point across. Short and on point. Men don’t like being nagged, and women – nagging is tiring, don’t you agree? Short and on point. When you keep repeating a single point over and over again, the man tends to mute you because it’s tiring to listen to it.  And it’s also exhausting for you because who wants to keep on repeating what they just said?
  6. “The bitch isn’t afraid to be different, which is why she won’t be a “booty call” or a pearl on a long string of pearls. She won’t be a man’s late-night convenience. She won’t be doing lap dances. She won’t be afraid to turn thirty or forty years old. At any age, this woman will feel like a “prize.” She won’t be defined by the media’s perception of aging; she won’t be made to feel like defective livestock because she is no longer a teenager. Married, single, or divorced, this woman feels good about herself.” – Self confidence, yo! Sure, there will be times wherein you will feel ugly or fat or whatever, but it’s all in the mind. You are beautiful and worth committing to! ❤
  7. “If you want to control your emotions, you have to control your thoughts.” Remember that emotions are temporary. I forget about this too from time to time. Allow your emotions to be calm before you make any rash impulsive decisions.
  8. “Men don’t respond to words. They respond to no contact.”I believe this, but I also believe that when he is ready to talk it over (and same goes for you too), you should. This just means that if you’ve nagged him a lot already, stop and just be silent if he does it again. He will be puzzled and confused as to why you aren’t talking or nagging him (that is if he is aware of what he did). Normally, men like to fix things and make things better so now, you’ve got his full attention when you just keep silent for a few minutes or hours. This does not mean that you will never talk the problem out with him though. Note to self: Men aren’t mind readers.

Here are some from the second book “WHY MEN MARRY BITCHES”. A lot of people say that this book is better written than the first book, but I don’t know, seems the same to me.

 

  1. “Women are constantly being told amazing sex will win a man’s heart. This is false. Just because a man sleeps with you doesn’t mean he cares about you. Nor will good sex make him care about you.” I actually managed to ask my husband about this and he said that after they do the deed, that’s all there is to it. There’s no point in making more effort because he already got her.

    It is advised that women take time to really get to know a man before having sex with him. This waiting period will also allow him to know you more and maybe find a connection or start to really care about you. Remember,  “If he likes you, he’ll be happy just being in your company.

  2. “Men admire women who want to elevate themselves and pull themselves up by their own bootstraps, and fear women who are social climbers at a man’s expense.”– True.
  3. “A man’s favorite word is appreciate. He wants more than anything to feel revered and valued by a woman. When she’s appreciative, it motivates him to give her the world.”I must remember this too. Sometimes, I forget to be appreciative. Also, another advice: “When he gives you something, always acknowledge the kindness behind the gesture, not the material item itself.”

     

  4. “Whenever boredom sets in, simply break the routine. As soon as the routine changes, it will pique his interest and the relationship will become interesting again.”As the book suggests, go out on a trip with your girlfriends for the weekend or go on an impromptu night out with the girls. Be back a little later than expected. Absence makes a man’s heart grow fonder.

What I’d like readers to remember though is that the book doesn’t promote women to be crass and rude when it comes to getting what they want… The book wants you to know that you can communicate and get what you want from a man by being straight to the point about what you want in the first place. Sometimes, I forget about this book and the things I’ve read so it’s nice to be reminded once in a while.

 

Have you read this book? What I’m really interested to know about is what men think about this book.

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