Have you ever been labelled as “clingy” before? I think most girls have been labelled by guys as clingy at least once. But the real question is – are you really a clingy girlfriend or is it just something guys say to get you off their backs? Most girls I know find themselves surprised when their boyfriends called them clingy for the first time. Some were offended. Let me get this straight, being clingy is not always a bad thing. It doesn’t have to be a negative trait. However, too much of something is bad so being too clingy is a bad thing. There has to be some kind of balance.
But how will you know when you are really being annoyingly clingy or if your boyfriend just wants some alone time? My ex-boyfriend was really bad at communicating. He would shut up about things and wait for the time until he couldn’t take it anymore before he would voice out. By that time, it’s usually too late to repair whatever the small problem originally was.
He usually didn’t complain about me being clingy before he decided to get together with another woman. I’ve learned that he’d usually complain about me being too clingy or not giving him enough space when he has plans to mess around with her and I was getting in the way. We weren’t even together 24/7 since we studied different courses, and as a Nursing student, I spent every other week away from school for hospital training.
So how will you really know if the problem is you or if he’s just using “clingy” to get you our of his way for the mean time? Below are common traits or situations that people have certified to be true signs of being clingy.
Before that, Urban Dictionary defines the word “clingy” as “A boyfriend/girlfriend or possibly someone who likes you who becomes let’s say, obsessed. Signs that your boyfriend/girlfriend is clingy: doesn’t stop calling, constantly tells you how much they love/like you, writes you songs, buys you flowers/chocolate so much it gets annoying, and wants to spend time… all the time.”
- ) How much time do you two spend together? Do you see each other everyday? Taking a step back and reassessing your relationship can really help. Personally, when a person tells me I’m being too clingy (which doesn’t happen often), I tend to reassess myself. “Am I really being too clingy?” If you are a healthy human being (I am guessing that you are), you’d be able to determine if you are indeed being too clingy. Are you always asking time to meet up or hang out? Do you hang out with other people or just with your significant other all the time?
- ) Constant communication. Personally, I think this depends on the couple. My husband and I have no problems with constant communication. Even if we live in the same house, we still message each other on FB messenger if he is downstairs and I am in the room. Are we having problems with this set up? Not really. We don’t find any problem with it so there’s nothing to fix. That’s why I can say that this factor really depends on the couple themselves. What is not okay for us is flooding. I define flooding as sending the same text five times a row or sending another text if the person its being sent to hasn’t replied in two minutes. That’s silly and annoying.You can start by having a talk about how in touch you both want to be. Are you okay with constant texting or calling? You both have to be okay with your set up.
Also it would do you good to take note of subtle cues like how is your conversation going? Is it dry? Are you the one who constantly initiates the conversation? Does it seem like he or she is into the conversation as well? Usually when a person responds with “Haha great”, “Amazing.” or any close ended reply, it’s usually a signal that they are either too busy or they are just not feeling conversational right now.
Give them space and do something else.
- ) Are you anxiously waiting for you all the time? If he is taking too long to respond to your message or call back, how do you feel? Do you get nervous? Are you feeling the impulse to resend your text over and over again until he replies? Do you get paranoid thoughts about what he is doing?Uh oh. Relax, and focus your attention on something else for a while.
- ) Magically being there at a place that you know that he would be too. Stalkerish much? He mentioned that he’d be going out with the boys at x club, and imagine the look on his face when he bumps into you there with your girlfriends. There’s a thin line between coincidence and being a creepy stalker.
- ) No more bro time. I get paranoid about this so I always encourage my husband to go out and meet with some of his bros but his work schedule is a little off so that’s his decision. On the weekends though, if there’s nothing that we have to do (like responsibilities) then it’s fine with me. I’d want to have some girl time with my friends too.Most clingy persons would throw a tantrum or plan something that would force their partner to cancel and stay with them instead.
- ) You cancel your own appointments. You made plans with the girls since last week to go out tonight but then 30 minutes before you have to go, he gives you a call and asks if you are free to hang out tonight. What do you do? You cancel on your girlfriends!Girl, if he really wants to hang out with you, he will reschedule. Don’t be too accommodating to him.
- ) Your partner has to be there. You need to buy something? You make your partner come with you even though you are perfectly capable of doing it yourself. You need to go somewhere? You drag your partner even if he has work to do. Independence is sexy.
Make your partner miss you sometimes. It will do wonders in your relationship. 🙂 So are you a clingy girlfriend or is your boyfriend just using that excuse for you to give him alone time? But the fact that he is using that excuse just so he can get alone time could mean that there’s something going on in the relationship. Talk it over and make sure that both of you are on the same page. Have a great day and good luck! ❤