How It Feels To Be Married At 23

Technically, I’m 24 years old now but I got married when I was only 23 years old. When I was still dating my now husband, I had this nagging feeling that he was the one I was going to end up with. I just couldn’t see myself being with some other guy. To me, he was perfect (still is) even on the random days when he isn’t. I wouldn’t call us the perfect couple but I think what set us apart from others was that we were willing to compromise. 
Compromising in a relationship, I’ve found, is very important. We have been compromising with each other right from the start. It wasn’t acceptable for me for one to win and the other to lose… It should always be a win win. I didn’t want to lose but at the same time, I also didn’t want him to lose because I’d feel really bad. 
When I decided that I was going to marry him, most were happy but I knew that they were also doubting the decision I was making. In fact, I was too but only around 15%. Scrolling through Facebook, I’d always see FB friends – especially women – post or share posts about how important it is to focus on your career first because you can always fall in love when you are 30. But what if, you already are in love? The problem was some of these women seemed to be looking down (or maybe the correct term would be putting down) on those who decided to get married early. I didn’t know if some of them were just bitter (most who kept posting were single), but I don’t get why you’d think that getting married would be the end of your career as a woman? 🤔 

Sure, your focus and priorities are going to shift but I think that getting the career you want and starting a family at the same time is possible. Call me Wonderwoman but I wouldn’t call myself a failure just because I got married. I work two jobs, feel like I only work for one, but earn twice as much. I believe that I can do it, especially now that I have my husband to be with me through it all. Women in the past would get married younger than I did and they became successful. I don’t see how we can’t! 🔥 
Funny how city folks view 23 as “too young” to get married but those who live in the country would get married at around 18 or 19. We met some younger couples during our marriage seminar and honestly, I was shocked too. And a little relieved that I wasn’t the youngest one in the room. 
So for those who got married young, don’t get discouraged. We all have our own separate journeys and time slots. Being married is not the end of your career as a woman. It doesn’t mean that you have limited opportunities now. It doesn’t mean that you are lesser than those women who are focusing on their careers. It just means that you are walking down a different path (a more challenging one, to be honest) but you can do it. And for those who tactlessly put down another woman for her life decisions, stop it. Empower, not put down. Women have to help one another. In the end, to each her own. 

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